I want to thank all of you for your prayers, kind words and donations for my sister in-law. Kiki is an amazing person and seeing her in the ICU, helpless, is just so unbelievably sad. The other morning I got to have her all to myself for a bit. I shared some letters and cards that I had received for her and told her all about her facebook messages and the emails I had gotten. I talked about the kids, gave her Z's flying kiss and told her how much I loved her.
As I looked at her, laying in the hospital bed, I could still not come to terms with the fact that I may never hear her speak again. Her beautiful voice might never sing another note or act out another scene. My beautiful "big sister" is most likely leaving this world and there is nothing I can do about it. The damn cancer has robbed her of her thirties, has crushed her dream of becoming a mother and is taking her from this world much too early.
It is so difficult for me to rap my head around it all.....I still feel like she could call at anytime and share the latest family gossip or call to check up on the kids. As I sit here sobbing, I think about how Christmas, Easter and the Fourth of July will never be the same.......she was such a huge part of all of those holidays and I don't know what we are going to do without her. My Z is losing his "Fairy Godmother", his fun and energetic Auntie Kiki....C will never get to play with her Auntie Kiki and will be too little to remember her. The whole thing is heart breaking.
Kiki, I love you and hope that you find peace soon. I can't picture life without you but I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to make sure that you are celebrated each and every day. I promise to live my life the way you would have wanted to live yours and want you to know how proud of you I am and how very important you are to me! I love you Big Sis!
Welcome to Raising Z and Lil' C, a little blog all about raising my 6 year old son and my three year old baby girl. I am a former teacher and now a SAHM. I love to write about our journey towards a more simple life, our daily struggles, share cute stories and love to share good ideas when I find them. I hope you will join me on the ups and downs of this journey called motherhood.