Potty Training Diaries--Part VI

Welcome to Part VI of the Potty Training Diaries :) The saga has been long and drawn out but I am excited to announce that with the deadline of preschool looming (two more days), we are making progress. Please come with us on our week long journey into the world of no diapers (well almost no diapers) ;)

Tuesday Night
-I find out at Preschool Orientation that Z must go to school in underwear even if he is not trained. Anxiety takes over my body and I have a sleepless and teary night worrying about how I am going to train my son in a week.


Wednesday Morning
-S insists that Z go to Open House at preschool in underwear (he has never been out of the house in underwear!). I leave with a large bag of back up clothing and supplies and pray for the best. He uses the school bathroom three times in an hour, uses the bathroom at the grocery once (his first public potty!!! I had to go we had no food) and then poops his pants on the way to the car. I take him back into the grocery store, deal with the poop situation and make a deal with myself that we will stay home as much as we can over the next week!

Wednesday Afternoon
-Z is in underwear all of his waking hours (diapers while he sleeps) and only has one more poopy accident. I take him to the potty every 25 minutes and this seems to work well. We venture on a 35 minute car ride to a birthday party and Z uses the potty 4 times while we are at the party :) S goes out and buys more undies and sweatpants to help with the laundry situation :)

Thursday Morning
-We cancel all activities to stay home to clean the house and use the potty :) I revamped the potty reward system (Z was sick of using the potty) by wrapping the prizes, making a new chart (he gets a prize for every seven trips to the potty) and introducing fruity cheerios as targets. I know the research says to teach them to pee sitting down but standing has been the only successful way for me.

Thursday Afternoon
-We had an accident free morning and I put him in a diaper for nap. Our new mother's helper was starting today so I left him in the diaper and told her to come and get me when he pooped. He never did in the 3 hours she was here.....as soon as she left he went back in undies. No poop all day....so unlike him and now I am nervous.

Friday
-Well the big poop came (FINALLY) but unfortunately it was in his undies :( We had three accidents today but other than that, he did well. We had to go to the preschool for a conference and Z practiced going potty 3 more times (they were an hour behind on conferences) and even did it solo once!!!! I told his teachers that he is not independent yet but working on it and that poop training will come later :)

Saturday
-He went in a pull-up for our long drive to the lake and then back in the undies. He did well (1 accident) but started to put up some resistance! He could not be bothered with the potty :( The novelty had worn off and he would rather not stop his fun to go potty (can't say that I blame him). S had his first potty training accident in public....Z peed all over the grocery store floor. S stayed calm and managed to get it cleaned up with napkins from the coffee counter (poor guy!). Z had just gone before he left the house but he doesn't always finish! He also won't tell us when he has to go....we have to continually ask him or look for signs. This is the hardest parenting project yet!

Sunday
-More resistance but we did get him in a diaper for his poop (we continually ask him if he would like one for a poop and he finally said "yes"). He used the potty a bunch (a few times had to be dragged into the bathroom) and wore a pull up for the ride home. It is so much easier when S is home and we can tag team for training!

Monday
-A lot more resistance but we are almost at independence (for pee)! He has been practicing pulling his pants down and up and is working hard on his aim. He still won't tell me when he has to go but with constant reminders, he is doing well. Poop is still another story...we had a BIG accident in that arena today.

I have one more full day at home before preschool starts. My goal for tomorrow is to try to break some of this resistance and continue to work with him on his aim. I am not sure how to get him to tell me when he has to go or how to make it fun again but I am going to try. This is sooooo hard!

Preschool Anxiety

Last night we had our Parent Orientation for Z's school. S and I went together and I was sick to my stomach the entire ride over. The entire school was there and so the session started off as a big group. We then broke into smaller groups and we got to meet Z's teachers and the other parents of his class. I was holding up okay until the teacher started talking about that first morning and how important it is to prep them for the good-bye.

"I will come down with you, help you hang up your things, watch you pick a choice activity and then give you two kisses and one hug....then mommy will leave for awhile and come back after school is done".

This was what she suggested we say to our little three year olds and at this I started to tear up. I was able to keep it together (fanning myself in the hot auditorium) but didn't realize how hard of a transition this was really going to be for ME. She then told us that even if our child was not fully potty trained that they must come to school in underwear, not pull-ups. This statement caused my heart to start beating out of my chest, I could feel the sweating forming and my blood pressure climbing. My little Z was going to have to deal with the anxiety of starting school at the same time he was going to have to worry about using the potty??? Was that fair to him??? The poor baby inside of me must have been wondering what was going out in the big bad world...why was mommy freaking out??

All of the pregnancy hormones raging through my body and the worry over this big transition for Z were now mixed with the huge anxiety over potty training!!! What were we going to do?? What can be done in a week??? I cried the whole way home, cried with my sister when I got home and then cried with S for about an hour and a half over the situation. The poor guy tried to calm me down (for the baby's sake) but I was too worked up to listen to his good sense.

"Put Z in underwear tomorrow, make it clear that when he goes to preschool he wears underwear."

This was his advice, I knew it made sense but Z had never been out of the house in underwear...was he ready? Was I ready???

This morning I woke Z up for his Open House at the school. I told him that Daddy and I had been to his school the night before and that we met his teachers and saw his classroom and everything looked wonderful. He looked at me and said, "I don't want to go to preschool". Then he crawled into a ball on the floor. I explained all of the wonderful things in his classroom and how his teachers couldn't wait to meet him and he looked up at me with big doe eyes and said, "Will Mama stay with me or is she going to leave like Llama Llama? Mama stay with me?" That damn book!!! I told him that today I would stay but when he started school next week, I would be leaving for a little while. I gave him a big hug and fought back the tears as I continued to pump him up about preschool.

So we drove to school in undies (with 4 back up pairs and two extra pairs of pants in my bag). We went straight to the bathroom to use the potty where Z giggled nervously. I helped him develop a potty routine for this new bathroom and showed him that the toilet was not loud (thank goodness!!!). We then walked into his new classroom to find his hook. He found it right away, met one of his teachers and then took off for the science center. His eyes were wide as he took in all that his new classroom had to offer. He played with the blocks, make a great house, climbed a bridge and really enjoyed his time there. He dragged me around from one activity to another, not letting me out of his site, but he was happy! At one point he looked up at me and said, "Preschool is great!". I took him to the potty once during the 45 minute open house and then again at the end.....he did better and better each time. I was sooooo PROUD of him!!!

At the end of the Open House we went out to the playground with all of the other children. Z had his first run in with a boy who would not share and quietly (and sadly) stepped away from the situation. It broke my heart but I realized at that moment that I can't always protect him and stand up for him. He is growing up and there are some things that he is going to have to learn to do himself. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I watched him sadly move onto the playground. Within minutes he had forgotten the situation and was enjoying the slide. My little boy was growing up before my very eyes.

We don't officially start school for another week but today's experience was good for both of us. Z got to experience all of the fun that preschool will offer him and he had a really great time. I gained a little more confidence in his potty training abilities and know that in time he will master this very difficult skill. It was a growing day for both of us and though I am still anxious about next week (and know I will be crying like a baby when I drop him off), I know that he will be okay (and so will I).

8 Weeks and Counting....

S and I came to the realization the other night that we are less than two months away from becoming a family of FOUR! I know what you are thinking....shouldn't we have come to this realization a lot sooner considering I have been pregnant for the last 7 months? I guess we both pushed off the preparations, excitement and panic and decided that once September came, we would get serious about preparing for this new addition to our family. Well it is now September and we are dealing with this big event in our own ways.

S's worries center around money and the future of sleepless nights (and also trying to keep me sane). You see he works for a Start-Up company (he always has worked for Start-ups, this is his third company) and not that there is much job security in anything these days....start-ups are the shakiest. He enjoys the risk and excitement but we are constantly wondering if he will have a job in six months. He also loves sleep and I think he is starting to remember that first year with Z and how we didn't get much sleep at all! He keeps telling me that we are going to do things differently this time :)

My worries center around Z and then the actual birth. How will Z react to this new addition to the family? Will he enjoy his new big brother role? Will he be potty trained in time? In what ways will he regress once the baby is born? How will I deal with two children??? Will I be able to nurse with a preschooler hanging around? And you know how they say that you forget how bad childbirth is so that you will do it again??? That is not the truth in my case. I remember it ALL and I am so nervous that it will be similar if not worse than last time! I don't deal well with pain.

Even Z is starting to worry a little bit (most likely feeding off of us although we are trying to stay as upbeat as possible around him). One day he is so excited about growing up and tells us how happy he is about wearing his new underwear and sleeping in his Elmo bed and then the next day he is apprehensive about both and just wants to be held. Growing up is tough stuff and he is being asked to do a lot all in a very short period of time. I too am struggling with his growing older and know that in time he will no longer want to cuddle with me or shower me with kisses. He is slowly becoming more independent and though I celebrate this, I worry that soon he won't need me anymore. So sad!

So here we are less than two months out and we have a half finished nursery, a child who is in the middle of potty training, two long lists of names, no specific plan for what Z will do while we are in the hospital and two parents who feel like they have forgotten how to care for an infant. I am feeling just a bit stressed. But then I look at pictures of when Z was a baby or fold a load of Z's baby clothes and I just smile and most of the stress melts away. I can't wait to meet this little bambino and welcome he or she into our family. It will be so nice to hold a little baby again :) Three is great but I know FOUR will incredible.

Where are you Potty Training Fairy??--Part V

Z starts school in 15 days......as many of you know he is suppose to be on his way to being potty trained when school begins. My question is....what is the definition of "on his way"? We have been "working" at this since before he was TWO! Does that count?? At school he can wear a pull up for the 3 hours he is there but if he poops, I will be notified and have to come and change him. I pray for his sake that this never happens.

It was my intention to work on potty training while at the lake. We did make some progress but spending week two in a house with a broken septic (we did have access to my mom's house and spent most of our time there) did not bode well for the training. He did learn to pee standing up (which he loves), went a few times a day (when it was convenient for him) and was feeling really good about going pee pee on the potty.

We have been home for a few days and so I decided to bite the bullet and put Z in underwear. He is in underwear as long as he is awake and at home (pull ups while we are out and a diaper to sleep). Monday went great! I brought him to the potty every 30 minutes and he had no accidents! He was loving being "grown up". I was so pumped from this success that I couldn't wait to continue....not as easy as I thought.

Today has been a whole different story. Today he doesn't want to use the potty, crumbles into a ball every time I ask and has peed on the floor three times so far. I have pulled my back out (a combination of bending over during potty training, overworking myself in the nursery on Sunday and being 7 1/2 months pregnant) and don't know what to do. I know all children are different, I know that this is a learning experience for him and that there will be many setbacks but the fact of the matter is, I am in pain and getting larger every day....not the ideal time to be training someone who doesn't want to be trained.

After the third pee on the floor, I decided to switch up my system. I am now setting the timer for every 30 minutes so it is the timer reminding him to go potty, not me (he was starting to get angry with me). I made a new sticker chart with a new system in place. Before he would go potty for a sticker and a skittle....now he could care less. I told him if he gets 8 stickers in one day, he will get a prize at the end of the day. Once I started with these two things, he went in the potty twice without a fight.

Every child is different.....every potty training experience is different. Most kids don't like the sensation of being wet, mine apparently doesn't care. I wish there was a potty training fairy who would swoop down and help me. S is off from work Thursday-Monday and I am hoping that he (and my mom) can help me push this potty train ahead....it is very challenging to do this alone this late in my pregnancy.

Giving Up on Potty Training....Worked?!?!?--Part IV

After this post, much reflection and discussions with friends, I decided to give up on Potty Training. Many of my friends had talked to their pediatricians and were told to not stress about it. They said that when the child was ready, they would do it. The deadlines of preschool and the baby coming were really stressing me out so after talking with my friends K, H and M a week and a half ago......I decided to give up. What a relief that was!!!

I told S that we were not going to stress about it. We would ride the wave and see what happens, after all we might work so hard to have him trained to only have him regress when the baby is born (I did that). He would head to preschool in a pull up and each day we would hope for the best :) I felt good with this new decision.....so we stopped asking, stopped talking about it and went on with life. I was calmer and more relaxed about life.

Then on Monday afternoon, Z came to me and asked to use the potty. I begged him to let his pregnant mommy go first and then put him on. He PEED!!!! He was so excited, the only other time he had successfully peed on the potty, he really didn't understand what was going on. This time he looked like he got it. We went overboard with the celebration.....he put a sticker on his chart, got a lollipop and a new car and then about an hour later he came to me again and asked to use the potty. Could this be a fluke? Nope, he did it AGAIN!

Tuesday he used the potty 4 times for pee and then came to me last night and asked if he could go poop. I said yes, saw something already in his pull up, put that in the toilet and he managed to push out a little more.....we had half of a successful poop (sorry for those of you who are so grossed out right now). Today he has already peed on the potty two times :) He finally gets it! He understands that pee comes out of his penis and is starting to slowly understand the poop angle. We are all so excited and this new approach to training (the "you tell us when you have to go"system) seems to be working for Z.

I don't know where we will go from here but S and I are in agreement that we are going to keep this laid back. It might take months to have him fully day trained and that is okay with us :) This slow, no pressure system is just what the doctor ordered :) Yeah Z!!!

Potty Training, Smotty Training-Part III

I give up! I think I will just wait until he either trains himself or I will teach him to change his own diapers. We can always move to Depends when the Pampers don't fit anymore!

This is the hardest thing that I have had to teach Z yet. Teaching him to walk, recognize his letters and numbers and eat with a fork were WAY easier than this. Most would say he is not ready yet but I have two huge deadlines looming! He starts preschool in September (and must be at least on his way to being trained) and the baby comes at the end of October. I have to get a move on.

We were doing okay for a week or so.......he loves his new potty, liked the reward system and he was trying really hard to go on the potty. We had TONS of dry runs (the book says that's normal) and we would read books, sing songs and chat. Nothing would happen, he would get a jellybean for trying so hard and then as soon as he we were all done....he would go in the safety of his pull-up.

One evening I caught him in his poop stance and (slightly against his will) brought him to the potty. He pooped in the potty!!!! He put a sticker on his poop chart, got a new car and a lollipop and we celebrated all over the house. I thought that despite the fact that I "forced" him to poop on the potty, the rewards would be enough to make him want to do it again....... apparently I was wrong! The next day he told me that pooping on the potty was dangerous :( I guess I messed up on that one big time!

Since that moment, we have been taking a break from the potty. He has asked to sit on it occasionally but I felt we needed a break. So in a few weeks, we will be spending a week at home (oh, kill me now) where Z will be wearing real underwear or walking around naked so that he can truly learn what this peeing thing is all about. I will fill him up with salty foods (I think that is what the book said) and water, bring him to the potty every half hour and hope that we can get on our way to truly potty training. Oh me oh my!

He Did It!!!--Potty Training Part II

Z peed on the big potty today for the first time!!! It was so exciting for the two of us and of course I was so not ready for it :) My goal was to start his training next week and work this week on finishing my reading of this book, create a reward system with a chart and go out and buy all of the rest of the potty training materials that I think we need (pad for the car seat, more pull ups, training pants, shield for the public potty etc.).

Z's new potty came in the mail yesterday (our third attempt at a potty, he has not liked the traditional potty on the floor or the plain squishy seat on the big potty) and I made the mistake of putting it together in front of him last night. As soon as it was together he asked me to put it on the potty. I did and he went up and down the built in step stool and tried the potty with his pants on. I was on the phone with my BF chatting while this was going on. All of a sudden he asked me to take his pants off....I hung up the phone, took them off and he tried out the potty for about 20 minutes without pants on (up, sit, read, down, up, sit, read, down....). We read all of our potty books last night at bedtime and I put him to bed.

This morning he asked me to try out his potty again. He climbed up and wouldn't you know it, he sat down on his potty and he peed!!!! (He peed all over the floor because this potty doesn't have a big splash guard and I haven't taught him how to push his penis down but who cares!?!?!?). We wiped him up, flushed, washed his hands and then put on his first pull-up :) We danced around the house, he ate his two jelly beans and got his brand new Red the Fire Truck from Disney Cars ;)

He then eyed the lollipops in my "Potty Training Candy Jar" and said, "Momma Lollipop?" I thought quick on my feet and told him that lollipops were for poops on the potty. He then ran back to the potty and sat there for 20 minutes (god love him) trying to poop on the potty (we read many books and sang songs). We had to leave the house so I gave him another jelly bean for trying and told him we would try again later. He was sad to leave but psyched to be wearing his new pull-ups :)

As soon as we got home, he ran to the potty. I told him that mommy had to go first (I think a pregnant lady trumps a toddler trying to get a lollipop...right?) and he finally agreed to this. When it was his turn he pulled down his pants and tried again for another 15 minutes! Unfortunately no poop.....then he got off of the potty, went to his train table and pooped while playing with Thomas. Go figure....I am not sure he is ready for pooping yet :)

It was a great success for us. Z is a child who hates change but he seems to really be enjoying the candy, bribes and the big deal that I am making over this. He can't wait for his daddy to come home so he can show him how he sits on the potty! I do need to figure out a system quick....he can't be getting a new car every time he pees or a lollipop every time he poops (he poops up to 5 times a day). I am off to figure that out and I will let you know what I come up with ;)

Potty Talk

Here is a conversation that I had with Z today. I am sure that all of you with kids have had a conversation similar to this one before :) For me, it was a first.

Me: Z are you pooping?
Z: Yes pooping....change diaper?
Me: Do you want to use the potty?
Z: No.....BIG poop coming out the hole.
Me: Does it hurt?
Z: No, oh....it's STUCK.......ahhh all done poop. Change diaper?

Potty Training Woes--Part I

This is all Z will do with his potty :) Potty training is not going very well. He knows all the signs around going to the potty (potty, more, all done, wash, poop and good job) and even has most of those words. He is pretty good at letting you know when he is going potty and Z is a pro at sitting on the potty (pants on) while S or I are using the bathroom.....but that is where it stops. Whenever I take his pants off and have him sit on the potty, he begins to cry and crawls up into my lap. I suggest we read a book while he sits on the potty and he wants to read it in my lap! I even put his portable sea on the big potty and he squirmed off and cried. If I could figure out a way for him to go pee while sitting on my lap I would....but that is just gross :)

Now most of you are thinking....well he clearly isn't ready and I guess I would have to agree. The problem is that we are part of a Baby Signs (R) Potty Training Study and it is designed for children under 2. I would also like him trained to cut down on the cost and the waste that diapers produce. I just bought him a new Elmo potty movie (he destroyed our Baby Signs (R) video) and we have a few books that he enjoys. Now that the weather is getting warmer I am thinking of having him walk around without any pants on and maybe move the potty out of the bathroom.

If anyone has any advice for us....please offer it up. I wasn't anticipating this fear of sitting naked when he loves to sit on it with pants :)

All Aboard the Potty Train.....

Well Z has been chosen to participate in the second round of field testing for the new Baby Signs (R) Potty Training program! This program is designed to potty train children before the age of 2. I know it sounds crazy but it has already worked for so many people, many of whom have children less than one! I have one friend who tried it with her 2 1/2 year old and she was using the potty after the first day!

We got our kit in the mail and it is really cute (I have put it in my Amazon Store, which is over on the left). They have a train whistle (get it...the Potty Train), a board book, a children's DVD, motivational stickers and a parent guide. I found the parent guide to be easy to read and very informative. I read it in one sitting and I am in the process of putting together our plan for potty training :) I would start today but we leave for vacation in a few weeks and I would hate to have to start and then stop or worse yet have to potty train while we are away! So we will start as soon as we get back.

Z has seen the DVD twice and really loves it (I find it a little monotonous). He has learned the routine from the DVD and the 5 signs in the Potty Training program. The signs are potty, more, all done, wash (for wash your hands) and good job. We have also taught him poop...just because it is fun to do :) He also has his new potty which he loves! It is in our downstairs bathroom and he likes to sit on it (with his pants on) while I go potty and read. We have a stack of his books in the bathroom. It is very cute :)

I found this really cute potty watch online which I am going to order. You can set it to go off every 30, 60 or 90 minutes to help remind children (and parents) to use the potty. It plays either "London Bridge", "Oh My Darling" or "Are you Sleeping". The website has changed the words to the songs so you can sing a potty song every time it goes off ;)

So after vacation we will be up and running with potty training. I have to admit, I really nervous! I will keep you posted, I am sure I will have lots of stories to tell. They say the key is staying positive, patient and creative. We shall see....."chooo, chooo".