5 more weeks!

Hello sweet baby,

It is hard to believe that we have less than 5 weeks until you make your appearance into the world. Your dad and I can't wait to meet you and we have been working hard on prepping your big brother for your arrival. I have even made him two books to help him get ready :) One book is full of wisdom from big brothers and sisters that he loves and the other is all about what will happen when you arrive and we have to go to the hospital. He loves his books and often asks to see you but I am thinking that he really has no idea how much his life will change when you come home. Just give him some time, he will love and protect you and be a wonderful big brother!

Despite our excitement and my new discomfort, I really need you to make sure that you continue to enjoy your cozy "underwater condo" until your 5 weeks are up :) You see, Daddy and I are not quite ready for you to make your big debut. Your brother has TWO birthday parties coming up this weekend (yes TWO) and we have so much to do to get ready for them. Your nursery is still not finished (not that you will be using it right away) and we need to continue gathering and washing all of the baby things. As for what we are going to call you....we are still struggling in that area. I think we have narrowed it down to three boys and three girl names but I am not sure....we continue to change out minds. Then on top of all of these trivial things....there is this scary thing called the H1N1 virus going around and we would like to keep you from getting exposed to that during its supposed height.

So what do you think baby....can you give us the next 4 1/2 weeks to get ready??? We will see you tomorrow at our ultrasound. We can't wait to see you but we are a little nervous about having to have the ultrasound. You see they say I am measuring small for the number of weeks that I am and want to make sure that everything is okay with you. We pray that it is!

Thanks little love bug :) We will see you soon (but not too soon, right?)!

Love, Mommy


Update from September 22nd:

We had our ultrasound today and all looks good. The heartbeat was strong, the fluid levels were great and the the blood flow was good. The baby is just on the small side (25th percentile) but that is AOKAY with me :) The two scenarios are that the baby will be around 6.5 lbs or will be born a week later than we think (Halloween) and will be around the same size as Z. We will just have to wait and see. I cried again today seeing its little face and we even got to watch it swallow....too cute!

Preschool Anxiety

Last night we had our Parent Orientation for Z's school. S and I went together and I was sick to my stomach the entire ride over. The entire school was there and so the session started off as a big group. We then broke into smaller groups and we got to meet Z's teachers and the other parents of his class. I was holding up okay until the teacher started talking about that first morning and how important it is to prep them for the good-bye.

"I will come down with you, help you hang up your things, watch you pick a choice activity and then give you two kisses and one hug....then mommy will leave for awhile and come back after school is done".

This was what she suggested we say to our little three year olds and at this I started to tear up. I was able to keep it together (fanning myself in the hot auditorium) but didn't realize how hard of a transition this was really going to be for ME. She then told us that even if our child was not fully potty trained that they must come to school in underwear, not pull-ups. This statement caused my heart to start beating out of my chest, I could feel the sweating forming and my blood pressure climbing. My little Z was going to have to deal with the anxiety of starting school at the same time he was going to have to worry about using the potty??? Was that fair to him??? The poor baby inside of me must have been wondering what was going out in the big bad world...why was mommy freaking out??

All of the pregnancy hormones raging through my body and the worry over this big transition for Z were now mixed with the huge anxiety over potty training!!! What were we going to do?? What can be done in a week??? I cried the whole way home, cried with my sister when I got home and then cried with S for about an hour and a half over the situation. The poor guy tried to calm me down (for the baby's sake) but I was too worked up to listen to his good sense.

"Put Z in underwear tomorrow, make it clear that when he goes to preschool he wears underwear."

This was his advice, I knew it made sense but Z had never been out of the house in underwear...was he ready? Was I ready???

This morning I woke Z up for his Open House at the school. I told him that Daddy and I had been to his school the night before and that we met his teachers and saw his classroom and everything looked wonderful. He looked at me and said, "I don't want to go to preschool". Then he crawled into a ball on the floor. I explained all of the wonderful things in his classroom and how his teachers couldn't wait to meet him and he looked up at me with big doe eyes and said, "Will Mama stay with me or is she going to leave like Llama Llama? Mama stay with me?" That damn book!!! I told him that today I would stay but when he started school next week, I would be leaving for a little while. I gave him a big hug and fought back the tears as I continued to pump him up about preschool.

So we drove to school in undies (with 4 back up pairs and two extra pairs of pants in my bag). We went straight to the bathroom to use the potty where Z giggled nervously. I helped him develop a potty routine for this new bathroom and showed him that the toilet was not loud (thank goodness!!!). We then walked into his new classroom to find his hook. He found it right away, met one of his teachers and then took off for the science center. His eyes were wide as he took in all that his new classroom had to offer. He played with the blocks, make a great house, climbed a bridge and really enjoyed his time there. He dragged me around from one activity to another, not letting me out of his site, but he was happy! At one point he looked up at me and said, "Preschool is great!". I took him to the potty once during the 45 minute open house and then again at the end.....he did better and better each time. I was sooooo PROUD of him!!!

At the end of the Open House we went out to the playground with all of the other children. Z had his first run in with a boy who would not share and quietly (and sadly) stepped away from the situation. It broke my heart but I realized at that moment that I can't always protect him and stand up for him. He is growing up and there are some things that he is going to have to learn to do himself. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I watched him sadly move onto the playground. Within minutes he had forgotten the situation and was enjoying the slide. My little boy was growing up before my very eyes.

We don't officially start school for another week but today's experience was good for both of us. Z got to experience all of the fun that preschool will offer him and he had a really great time. I gained a little more confidence in his potty training abilities and know that in time he will master this very difficult skill. It was a growing day for both of us and though I am still anxious about next week (and know I will be crying like a baby when I drop him off), I know that he will be okay (and so will I).

Where are you Potty Training Fairy??--Part V

Z starts school in 15 days......as many of you know he is suppose to be on his way to being potty trained when school begins. My question is....what is the definition of "on his way"? We have been "working" at this since before he was TWO! Does that count?? At school he can wear a pull up for the 3 hours he is there but if he poops, I will be notified and have to come and change him. I pray for his sake that this never happens.

It was my intention to work on potty training while at the lake. We did make some progress but spending week two in a house with a broken septic (we did have access to my mom's house and spent most of our time there) did not bode well for the training. He did learn to pee standing up (which he loves), went a few times a day (when it was convenient for him) and was feeling really good about going pee pee on the potty.

We have been home for a few days and so I decided to bite the bullet and put Z in underwear. He is in underwear as long as he is awake and at home (pull ups while we are out and a diaper to sleep). Monday went great! I brought him to the potty every 30 minutes and he had no accidents! He was loving being "grown up". I was so pumped from this success that I couldn't wait to continue....not as easy as I thought.

Today has been a whole different story. Today he doesn't want to use the potty, crumbles into a ball every time I ask and has peed on the floor three times so far. I have pulled my back out (a combination of bending over during potty training, overworking myself in the nursery on Sunday and being 7 1/2 months pregnant) and don't know what to do. I know all children are different, I know that this is a learning experience for him and that there will be many setbacks but the fact of the matter is, I am in pain and getting larger every day....not the ideal time to be training someone who doesn't want to be trained.

After the third pee on the floor, I decided to switch up my system. I am now setting the timer for every 30 minutes so it is the timer reminding him to go potty, not me (he was starting to get angry with me). I made a new sticker chart with a new system in place. Before he would go potty for a sticker and a skittle....now he could care less. I told him if he gets 8 stickers in one day, he will get a prize at the end of the day. Once I started with these two things, he went in the potty twice without a fight.

Every child is different.....every potty training experience is different. Most kids don't like the sensation of being wet, mine apparently doesn't care. I wish there was a potty training fairy who would swoop down and help me. S is off from work Thursday-Monday and I am hoping that he (and my mom) can help me push this potty train ahead....it is very challenging to do this alone this late in my pregnancy.

Switching Sides

For the past 7 years S and I have had our own sides of the bed. If you are looking at the bed from the bottom, S is on the left and I am on the right. It does not matter where in the world the bed is located, we always sleep on the same side......until now. I only know one couple who does not have set sides of the bed. They view it as a competition and whomever goes to bed first, gets to pick the side of the bed that they would like to sleep on that night. This has always fascinated me and tonight will be the first night that I get to try out the other mysterious side of the bed :)

In our bedroom, S's side is closer to the bathroom and my side is closer to the window. I do LOVE my side and enjoy the AC blowing directly on me but with the pregnancy pillow, body pillow, pregnancy wedge pillow and the 2 other pillows I sleep with....it makes getting up by the window a very difficult task. Two to three times a night I have to move the heavy pillows out of my way (usually knocking S in the head) as fast as I can, slide down into the little alley way and "run" around the bed to the bathroom so that I can make it there on time. It has become a very difficult task.

The plan was to switch sides once the baby came anyway (S's side is where the bassinet will have to go) but it looks like we are going to have to make the switch a month or two earlier. So when I return from the lake I will say good-bye to the Right Side of the bed after 7 years. It is a little strange for me but I have not slept well in months so I figure it can't hurt anything. I just hope that S is able to adjust and that he will find more peace on his new side of the bed :)

Mommy Brain

**This post was written by my friend Sh, she is a working mother of two beautiful boys**

Wow, a chance to blog! I've been thinking of starting a private blog as a way to remember all of the funny things my kids do as they grow up. I tell myself to write it down, but that would require that I be able to locate a pen and paper, at the same time. It would also require a free hand. Fat chance these days!! Which leads me to my topic of "baby brain" or as I call is now "mommy brain" since I don't see it going away when my kids aren't babies. These brain cells are gone permanently. :)

Most of you don't know me, but I am, ok was, an overly organized, planned person before kids. I'm a kindergarten teacher. You pretty much have to plan every minute of the six hour day when you're dealing with 18 five year olds.

My problem is that I seem to have no memory left. With N, my first, I lost my wallet no less than 5 times. I didn't misplace it for a few hours. I actually had to call the bank each time to freeze my debit card for fear someone was spending my money while I searched high and low for several days. It always turned up, but the lady at the bank started to worry about me a little more each time I showed up with my card and license to unfreeze my card. Sorry, I have a new baby. She was young and apparently didn't have kids judging by her blank stare as I explained my multiple visits.

My mom bought me a wrist wallet when I got pregnant with my second son to help solve my problem. Two days later, I left it in my shopping cart at Target and drove away. Luckily I remembered on the way home and it was still there. Good idea in theory.

Now that number two is here, it's my keys. I lose my keys several times a week. Never for too long. Just long enough to get both kids aggravated and myself sweaty as I run through the house looking for them. The worst was when my husband came home from bringing N to daycare and informed me he found my keys, on top of my trunk, AFTER he got to daycare. How they didn't fall off is beyond me. I've also left them in my trunk (thank god for spares), but accidentally found them the next day when I grabbed the stroller. My brother found them one night on my front porch and they're pretty much always left in the front door, now the first place I look! Good thing you don't know where I live. You'd have no problem getting in. ;) My family have all joined in the search for my keys as I rummage through the diaper bag asking "Has anyone seen my keys?" They dread that question!

I have always been the responsible one. I think it comes with being the oldest. Yesterday my mom was hesitant to give me her credit card to return some things for her while I was at the mall. Umm. . . I'm dragging a 3 month old and two year old to the mall and have offered to make extra stops. Really?? When did I become the flaky one who loses everything and can't remember what I was doing?? I think it all started on May 14, 2007 and got waaay worse on April 24th of this year. ;) Thank goodness toddlers and babies are so noisy. They're impossible to lose!

Oh, I realized last week that the wrist wallet strap unhooks. I hooked my keys on! Now my keys have a really big key chain. Haven't lost them yet!! ;)

Hello Baby :)

I had my ultrasound yesterday and was blown away by the whole experience. I figured since it was my second child that it would lose some of its magic...I couldn't have been more wrong! S and I walked into the office all smiles, we could not wait to get a glimpse of the baby growing inside of me. As soon as I was able to identify its little nose and mouth on the big screen, I got all choked up. Fighting back the tears, I smiled at S and was so overcome with love. There was our baby....it was really there, living and breathing inside of me. I rarely have time in my day to think about this new baby but here he or she was......smiling at us! At that point the pregnancy became real and I was not so sure that I wanted to wait 20 more weeks to meet my little baby. Looking at the baby on the screen was so amazing.....I wanted to hold he or she and love them right then and there.

This pregnancy has been so different from my first. When I was pregnant with Z, it was all about ME and the baby :) There was 4 of us pregnant at the school where I taught so the discussion was all baby, all the time. My students measured my belly each week, brought me lists of what we should name the baby and all of my shirts had dirty hand prints on the belly. I spent each day after school relaxing, reading books about the baby or watching A Baby Story. S and I would have long dinners out talking about baby names, plans for the nursery and the excitement we were feeling about being new parents. I spent hours registering with my BF, my sisters and my mom and then many more hours reading up on the latest baby gadgets (and then more hours changing my registry). The nursery was a two month project for my mom, S and I and every detail was done with such love and care. I spent hours on Z's sailboat quilt (I had a strong feeling he was a boy) because I wanted it to be perfect. I had 5 baby showers and was so blessed by all of the wonderful gifts that my family and friends gave to us. For 40 weeks, it was all about ME and the baby :)

This time around everything is so different (I can't imagine being pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time!). I was so much sicker this time around, have limited time to relax and put my feet up and this time around it is not all about ME and baby.....it is all about Z :) S and I do find some moments here and there (usually in the car) to talk about baby names but our time is usually spent talking about our days or Z and the amazing things he has done. The nursery this time around is our guest room, it has bunk beds and was suppose to be Z's room but we decided not to move him. I have borrowed a crib (Z is staying in his as long as he wants), plan on using the same PB Kids ocean bedding set (after all it is hardly used and is so cute) and have been trying to find time to turn the room from an office/guest room into a nursery. Who knows if this baby will get a quilt from its momma??!??! For the past 20 weeks, it has been all about life and Z :)

Well baby, I know that most second children are usually better adapted because they are "ignored" from the day they are conceived. Their baby books are not complete, there are not as many photos and they are use to being left alone in their swing or seat because they can't be held 24/7 like their older siblings were. I am not promising that all of these things will not happen to you....your brother has thousands of photos of him, beautiful baby books made by a dear friend M and is quite demanding for my time :) However from this day forward, I promise to find some quiet time each day for just you and I to bond (now that you are moving around, this will be easier to remember to do), I will go to the quilt store and pick out some fabric (not saying the quilt will get done but at least I will try), I will buy you a fabulous baby book and start filling it out, I will try to be creative in your nursery space and daddy and I will work hard on finding a few names for you. I can't promise that life will be easy for you but I can promise that you will be soooooo loved. Your daddy, Z and I can't wait to meet you and welcome you into our family. We love you so much already (our hearts are bursting) and we know that you will be the perfect addition to our happy home.

So my dear sweet baby....stay healthy, grow strong and we will see you in about 20 weeks! We think you are adorable, we are very impressed by your crazy flexibility (did you notice that his or her knees are right by its forehead???) and we are so excited to meet you :)

Cravings

I have been feeling better over the last few weeks (have actually been off of my medication for the past 4 days) and this means that my appetite has come back. With this new appetite, I am enjoying the world of pregnancy cravings! It amazes me that I will crave something one day and then find it repulsive the next. When I was pregnant with Z, I could not get enough mashed potatoes. This craving lasted for three months and then I couldn't go near them for the rest of my pregnancy. My other big craving with Z was chicken. I know this might not sound strange but I had not had chicken for 10 years when I was pregnant with Z. I had always told myself that while I was pregnant I would eat white meat and when my mother in-law brought wings to the house one day in my first trimester...I devoured them! This time around chicken repulses me (unless it is mixed in a sauce). Go figure ;) Maybe I will give red meat a shot (haven't had that since I was 16!).

During pregnancy I allow myself to do three things that I don't ordinary allow myself to do. They are: spend time each day with my feet up, not feel guilty over not exercising as much as I should (or at all) and giving into cravings. I try my best to eat a well balanced and healthy diet but pregnancy is the only time I don't allow myself to feel guilty over eating things that I would normally stay away from.

So my cravings this time around have been pickles (traditional), Chicken Chow Mein with crunchy noodles, goat cheese, Portuguese Sweet Bread (still haven't found any of this), root beer, Kellog's Raisin Bran and Pizza Combos. Today I REALLY wanted potato chips and French onion dip. When I went to the grocery store to pick up things for tonights dinner, I was on a mission to find the best dip. As I was walking toward the dairy case I heard this little angelic voice say, "Miss, would you like to try some chips and dip?" Was she kidding??? Was she sent from heaven??? Of course I said yes, grabbed Z's hand and ran over to her free sample station. I told her all about my craving and she smiled and gave me 3 coupons. I just finished up my snack....so good.....and I hope that I still like it tomorrow because I bought a lot of it!

My Mother's Day

My Mother's Day began at 5:30 AM with Z standing up in his pack n play saying, "Daddy". I quickly grabbed him before he woke anyone else up in the cottage and pulled him into bed with S and I. I snuggled in with him, rubbed his back and prayed that he would go back to sleep. S and I were exhausted from our crazy travels the night before (we drove 2.5 hours to a friends 50th birthday party and then drove back to the lake after the party), we really needed sleep.

Once I felt Z start to drift off, my small pregnant bladder began to act up. I had already been to the bathroom 3 hours prior but had to go again! I whispered in Z's ear that I would be right back and quietly tiptoed out of the room. Sleeping in the great room was my sister, brother in-law and their dog.....I tried so hard not to wake them but the dog began to stir. I waved to him and kept on my mission.

When I was tucked back in bed, Z snuggled in and I continued to rub his back. I was not happy to be up that early but it was so nice to start my Mother's Day off with my little guy in my arms. I thought about the baby growing inside of me and could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. At that moment I felt like the luckiest woman alive. I do have my own share of daily struggles but being a mother is the most important job I have ever had and I am so blessed to have the opportunity to stay home with my child. He is such a wonderful kid and I can't wait for him to meet the baby and teach him or her all of the wonderful things he knows.

Feeling so blessed, I drifted off to sleep and woke up to Z stirring at 7:30! S quietly got out of bed and Z and I laid in bed and chatted. We talked about his evening with his auntie, uncle and grandparents. He told me all about what he did, ate and the fun he had. I told him all about the birthday party....it was a really nice time. It took S a long time to return (we thought he was in in the bathroom but he was actually fishing!!!) but when he did, he brought my mother's day gifts in. He and Z gave me roses, a balloon and a pregnancy massage (I can't wait).

It ended up being a bit of a crazy day but we did have a nice breakfast out with my parents and my sister and her husband. After that it was back to work at the lake (S, my mom and dad were staining the cottage for most of the day). Z and I were snuggled indoors because the wind was whipping across the lake and it was too cold to be outside. We got my mom the Wii for Mother's Day (and her birthday) so Z and I had fun playing that together.

That night we returned home to our flood (did I tell you we have water under our kitchen and dining room floors???) and S went to work tearing apart our garage ceiling to try to locate the leak before the plumber came in the morning. I ended up getting Z ready for bed and did S's nighttime routine with him (S was covered in insulation and other fun things). It was not really the relaxing evening I had envisioned but it was nice to end my day in the same manner that I started it. Z and I snuggled in, read stories, sang songs and talked about our weekend at the lake. I gave him a squeeze, a kiss and tucked him into bed.

It really was a wonderful day!!!

The picture above is Z the day he was born :)