Thursday, September 16, 2010



It has been over 2 months since I have visited this blog or anyone's blog.  As a matter of fact, I had no intentions of visiting it tonight but one wrong click and my blog appeared and it was as if an old friend (or friends) were begging me to stay for just a little while.  So here I am....for now.

This summer has been all about change for us.  The biggest change was the absence of Scott's sister.  How do we fill the empty hole at the dinner table or the bigger hole in our hearts?  They say that time heals all wounds but for those of us who are late to the grieving table, it only seems to be getting worse.  We know that grieving is a process and that this first year of "firsts" will be difficult.  S's parents desperately want to find away to help Kiki's memory live on.  We have brainstormed hundreds of different options but we truly struggle to find the best way to honor her life and the amazing person that she was. 

Another huge change for us was S's job.  S's company was sold and he was offered a very good job with the new company down south in GA.  We spent many hours discussing the pros and cons of the move.  We love New England and most of our family and friends are within 2 hours of us.  It was hard to imagine living so far away (even if it was in a gigantic, beautiful house) and feeling so alone.  Some thought we were crazy to turn down such a job but S is very excited to be starting his own company (I know, crazy times to be starting business) and so that is what we are doing.  We decided we would rather live in a cardboard box and be surrounded by family than live in a 5,000 square foot home with a nanny and a butler (okay I am exaggerating just a bit) all alone. 

Another change (a good change) was that I finally figured out why I was feeling so sick all spring/summer.  It turns out that the thyroid is a pretty remarkable little gland for being so small and when it is under attack it doesn't function the way it should.  Many of the symptoms are similar to postpartum symptoms (infact my issues started off as postpartum hypothyroidism) and that is why it was difficult to pinpoint.  I am now on medication (for life) and my energy is slowly returning :)

I guess that is enough for now.  I do miss my blog friends and hope that when things get back into a routine around here that I will be able to stop by and visit.  I have decided that facebook and blogging had been taking up too much of my family time and so I have deleted my facebook page (not that it is ever really gone) and will not be blogging as frequently as I use to.  I do want to keep this outlet for myself though and love to have it as a sort of journal for my children.  I also know that my mom, mother in-law, a few friends and some aunts love to read it too so I plan to keep it going for them as well :)

Lil' C is almost 11 months!!!      Here she is crawling up to her new cousin J


Mom said...

I do love reading your blog, even if I already know everything.

I promise, you will NEVER live in a cardboard box. We can find a double wide trailer for you somewhere...only kidding. Your old room, and your sisters rooms are always here if you ever need them. But, I have a feeling that this new adventure, for S, you and the kids, will be wonderful. Keep the faith.

Time does heal, but it hasn't been and won't be easy. Firsts are hard, but it will be those little things that seem to hit you right in the heart, when you least expect it. You know you aren't alone, one of the reasons you aren't moving the GA - THANK GOD!

We love you all and are here for you, S, Z and Lil'C.

Annie said...

Take your time, when you feel ready come back.

Wish everything goes well. God bless you and your family.

PS: Lil C is so big, wow.

Beth P. said...

I'm so thrilled to hear from you! WHAT?! Lil' C is 11 months?!?! Holy moly. Amazing.

Time will continue to heal, no matter how quickly or slowly, but it will. Sounds like you will have some wonderful things happening to perhaps make the difficult year of "firsts" a bit easier. Good luck to your hubs and do come back! I miss reading your posts!

Christa said...

I can't even imagine what you're going through. I've absolutely missed you being around but it's so understandable why you haven't been.

Sometimes blogging DOES get in the way of family life and it sucks because often that's not why we started blogging at all!

I can't believe how big lil C is! I remember when you had her!

Good luck with S starting his own business it's going to be crazy but I think you made the right decision I completely agree with you, living in a big house with $$ doesn't matter if you don't have family around!

Connie W said...

I'm so glad to hear from you!

I hope this means you'll be posting more because I miss you.

6 weeks ago Keith took a new job and we're living one step up from a cardboard box in Denver.

I'm only partially kidding.

It sounds like you're following your heart! I love it!

Nicolasa said...

Oh my gosh, I was literally just going to write you an email because I've thinking about you lately, and I decided to go through the dreaded google reader and there you were! :-) It made me so happy! I am glad you'll be keeping this corner of the blogosphere for you. It will be good for you!

I think you and S made a great decision. Don't worry about everyone else, do what feels right to you and you'll all be so much happier! I wish S all the luck in starting his busines!! :-)

MommyBrain said...

Glad to hear I am not the only one "neglecting" my blog these days, weeks, months, ...

Sad to hear about your family's loss and the turmoil of making a big decision about moving, etc.

Also want you to know that I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis ... I am very HYPO and have been for like 12 years! This last pregnancy really threw my thyroid for a loop, and I am currently on twice as much medication as I've ever been on! Hope yours is easy to control. I am surprised by how common thyroid conditions are - at least in my mommy circles :)

Hugs to you from the NW!

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