S and I came to the realization the other night that we are less than two months away from becoming a family of FOUR! I know what you are thinking....shouldn't we have come to this realization a lot sooner considering I have been pregnant for the last 7 months? I guess we both pushed off the preparations, excitement and panic and decided that once September came, we would get serious about preparing for this new addition to our family. Well it is now September and we are dealing with this big event in our own ways.
S's worries center around money and the future of sleepless nights (and also trying to keep me sane). You see he works for a Start-Up company (he always has worked for Start-ups, this is his third company) and not that there is much job security in anything these days....start-ups are the shakiest. He enjoys the risk and excitement but we are constantly wondering if he will have a job in six months. He also loves sleep and I think he is starting to remember that first year with Z and how we didn't get much sleep at all! He keeps telling me that we are going to do things differently this time :)
My worries center around Z and then the actual birth. How will Z react to this new addition to the family? Will he enjoy his new big brother role? Will he be potty trained in time? In what ways will he regress once the baby is born? How will I deal with two children??? Will I be able to nurse with a preschooler hanging around? And you know how they say that you forget how bad childbirth is so that you will do it again??? That is not the truth in my case. I remember it ALL and I am so nervous that it will be similar if not worse than last time! I don't deal well with pain.
Even Z is starting to worry a little bit (most likely feeding off of us although we are trying to stay as upbeat as possible around him). One day he is so excited about growing up and tells us how happy he is about wearing his new underwear and sleeping in his Elmo bed and then the next day he is apprehensive about both and just wants to be held. Growing up is tough stuff and he is being asked to do a lot all in a very short period of time. I too am struggling with his growing older and know that in time he will no longer want to cuddle with me or shower me with kisses. He is slowly becoming more independent and though I celebrate this, I worry that soon he won't need me anymore. So sad!
So here we are less than two months out and we have a half finished nursery, a child who is in the middle of potty training, two long lists of names, no specific plan for what Z will do while we are in the hospital and two parents who feel like they have forgotten how to care for an infant. I am feeling just a bit stressed. But then I look at pictures of when Z was a baby or fold a load of Z's baby clothes and I just smile and most of the stress melts away. I can't wait to meet this little bambino and welcome he or she into our family. It will be so nice to hold a little baby again :) Three is great but I know FOUR will incredible.
1.19.18 ~ January Knits
1 day ago