I had my ultrasound yesterday and was blown away by the whole experience. I figured since it was my second child that it would lose some of its magic...I couldn't have been more wrong! S and I walked into the office all smiles, we could not wait to get a glimpse of the baby growing inside of me. As soon as I was able to identify its little nose and mouth on the big screen, I got all choked up. Fighting back the tears, I smiled at S and was so overcome with love. There was our baby....it was really there, living and breathing inside of me. I rarely have time in my day to think about this new baby but here he or she was......smiling at us! At that point the pregnancy became real and I was not so sure that I wanted to wait 20 more weeks to meet my little baby. Looking at the baby on the screen was so amazing.....I wanted to hold he or she and love them right then and there.
This pregnancy has been so different from my first. When I was pregnant with Z, it was all about ME and the baby :) There was 4 of us pregnant at the school where I taught so the discussion was all baby, all the time. My students measured my belly each week, brought me lists of what we should name the baby and all of my shirts had dirty hand prints on the belly. I spent each day after school relaxing, reading books about the baby or watching A Baby Story. S and I would have long dinners out talking about baby names, plans for the nursery and the excitement we were feeling about being new parents. I spent hours registering with my BF, my sisters and my mom and then many more hours reading up on the latest baby gadgets (and then more hours changing my registry). The nursery was a two month project for my mom, S and I and every detail was done with such love and care. I spent hours on Z's sailboat quilt (I had a strong feeling he was a boy) because I wanted it to be perfect. I had 5 baby showers and was so blessed by all of the wonderful gifts that my family and friends gave to us. For 40 weeks, it was all about ME and the baby :)
This time around everything is so different (I can't imagine being pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time!). I was so much sicker this time around, have limited time to relax and put my feet up and this time around it is not all about ME and baby.....it is all about Z :) S and I do find some moments here and there (usually in the car) to talk about baby names but our time is usually spent talking about our days or Z and the amazing things he has done. The nursery this time around is our guest room, it has bunk beds and was suppose to be Z's room but we decided not to move him. I have borrowed a crib (Z is staying in his as long as he wants), plan on using the same PB Kids ocean bedding set (after all it is hardly used and is so cute) and have been trying to find time to turn the room from an office/guest room into a nursery. Who knows if this baby will get a quilt from its momma??!??! For the past 20 weeks, it has been all about life and Z :)
Well baby, I know that most second children are usually better adapted because they are "ignored" from the day they are conceived. Their baby books are not complete, there are not as many photos and they are use to being left alone in their swing or seat because they can't be held 24/7 like their older siblings were. I am not promising that all of these things will not happen to you....your brother has thousands of photos of him, beautiful baby books made by a dear friend M and is quite demanding for my time :) However from this day forward, I promise to find some quiet time each day for just you and I to bond (now that you are moving around, this will be easier to remember to do), I will go to the quilt store and pick out some fabric (not saying the quilt will get done but at least I will try), I will buy you a fabulous baby book and start filling it out, I will try to be creative in your nursery space and daddy and I will work hard on finding a few names for you. I can't promise that life will be easy for you but I can promise that you will be soooooo loved. Your daddy, Z and I can't wait to meet you and welcome you into our family. We love you so much already (our hearts are bursting) and we know that you will be the perfect addition to our happy home.
So my dear sweet baby....stay healthy, grow strong and we will see you in about 20 weeks! We think you are adorable, we are very impressed by your crazy flexibility (did you notice that his or her knees are right by its forehead???) and we are so excited to meet you :)