Z's Imaginary Friend

We welcomed a new friend to our home this past week, Franklin, Z's imaginary turtle friend.  S and I have been doing some reading about imaginary friends and apparently it is normal and good for a child's imaginative development.  This being said, they often appear when a child is stressed, feeling lonely and needs a sense of comfort :(  This last part breaks my heart!

I have to be honest, the last week and a half has been very challenging.  We went from smooth sailing with baby C for about a week to some rougher weather this last week and a half.  C has been not sleeping well (day or night), burping wet burps, gets the hiccups 8-10 times a day, always sounds congested, wants to nurse constantly, has these moments where she gags and stops breathing for a minute, cries all the time and wants to be held constantly......it has been really challenging.  At the doctor's yesterday, she was diagnosed with Silent Reflux but she is too young for medication at this point.  We are in the process of trying all of the natural remedies to try to help her pain and discomfort (most of them we had already tried before our visit to the doctor).

Z is extremely sensitive to the sound of babies crying and he went from being intrigued by and tolerating his new baby sister to now avoiding her all together.  Z refuses to be in the same room with Lil' C :(  He often retreats upstairs to his room for a much needed break from the noise.  While I appreciate that he has this wonderful strategy of removing himself from situations that cause him stress, it breaks my heart that I never see the boy anymore.  He is sooooo afraid of C, afraid that at any moment she will start to cry.  He is often on the verge of tears himself....it is painful to see. 

C takes a few short naps during the day and it is then that I try to dress, feed and spend as much quality time with Z that I can.  Potty training is out the window (the poor guy is not independent and had way too many accidents while I was nursing...he is now in pull-ups), I am a mess (lucky if I get a shower in and I am averaging 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep a day) and my house is trashed....who has time to clean? I am either nursing, consoling or trying to spend time with Z.  S tries so hard to keep up with the dishes and my mom the laundry but it is impossible when Z and C both need so much attention. 

So given all of this stress on my sweet Z and the fact that he spends so much time playing alone (which he does soooo well, I am so lucky!), he has turned to his new pal Franklin to keep him company.  I am so sad for him, I so wish there was more I could do to meet his needs while still meeting the needs of my new baby girl.  My family and friends have been very helpful when they can but it is impossible to have someone here everyday....I need to get use to doing this on my own. 

Someone told me that while figuring out my new role as a mother of two, it is important to strive to meet the emotional needs of the older child and the physical needs of the baby.  This seems impossible right now...the only thing I am able to do is meet the physical needs of both children (and that isn't even being done well).  I am truly in survival mode.  I know everyone says that it will get easier....I just wish I could appreciate this time a little more.  C is so little and cute (7 LBS 1 oz) and when she is not crying enjoys taking in the world around her.....I love her big beautiful eyes.  And Z is so much fun right now!  He is so curious and his imagination has taken off.  It is so much fun to listen to him play, I just wish I could join him a little more often.  I keep reminding myself it is Quality vs. Quantity...right??

Sorry if this post didn't make much sense.  It was typed one-handed and took a few feedings to complete :)