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Today's letter is too painful to write right now but the spot is reserved for my beautiful sister in-law Kiki. I promise to write the letter someday soon, burn it and send it to her in the heavens but for now, it has to remain unwritten.
Kiki has been gone for 6 months but it is all still so sureal. As we enter into this time of year it is even more difficult. As I was wrapping a package for Caroline last night, I flipped the box over and there was a gift tag attached to the box. It said, "To Princess Caroline, Love Auntie Kiki and Dum-B". I gasped when I saw the tag and my eyes welled up with tears. Here I thought I was just resusing a box but in away I was keeping her spirit alive at this time of year.
Tonight at 7pm the Compassionate Friends are having their Worldwide Candle Lighting for people who have lost children of any age. This is how my in-laws are celebrating Christmas and they are encouraging all of their friends and family to participate as well. I wish I could be with them tonight because I am sure the house (inside and out) will be glowing with candle light. We will be participating too and invite you to join us as well. Light a candle from 7-8pm (your local time) for someone you love who is no longer with us. It is a world wide event so the candles will be burning for 24 hours as the light circles the globe. I think it is a beautiful way to welcome in the holidays and let Kiki know that she is still with us.
"The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries."